The SkyWriter

This is where I love to be La Isla Bonita -- A girl sings this lullaby Every moment is ecstasy Where scorching sunray like embers of my memory Her voice is divine and unheard symphony That wreathes my soul like caged birds cacophony Her eyes -- untold tales of prophecy Sailors' quest for the island of Destiny Emeralds and rubies -- premonition of Shangri–la -- She's my fantasy She makes me believe in mirages -- that's some real sorcery This is where I love to be La Isla Bonita -- A girl sings this lullaby She's the one -- White pearl and dark red ruby My talisman -- I lost in the echoes of her lullaby.

You don't have to be a poster boy... You don't have to have Greek god looks... You don't have to have a ritzy automobile or superbike. Those things are insignificant. Your resume should show academic prowess -- That's essential. Evolution is essential. From an egg into an imago. The only thing that shouldn't be part of your life cycle is dormancy. Never STOP striving. Try to outdo yourself... Prove your mettle... Dedicating a romantic song to her on the radio is lovey-dovey--BUT--attempting to code a new distro of Linux is evangelical -- That'd really impress her. You'd dedicate that Linux variant to her! A funky smartphone isn't a must-have--BUT--a book by Dr. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam is essential. Don't let her say: 'You're NOT my type!' -- Don't let her say something like: Quote: 'We're not suited, we need some space, of course, we can still be friends.' Unquote. It's the flawlessness of your character -- It's the u...

Wannabe writers must understand one thing that you don't learn writing from some Creative Writing book or workshop -- It's about questioning your honesty -- It's being skeptical about your morality -- You've to have sagely temperament -- Loftiness -- Unimpeachable character -- Truthfulness -- That's why I'd NEVER become a writer -- Writing is a two-way process -- It prompts your readers to re-evaluate themselves -- their value system -- At the same time -- It triggers a sort of metamorphic process in you -- It's about soul-searching -- It's self-criticism -- You don't patronize anyone -- It's not a fault-finding exercise -- It's self-ridicule -- I'm NOT fortunate like Lazarus -- Yep, I'd be restored to life -- BUT in the hereafter -- NOT in this world. My existence on this earth is finite BUT I want to leave my footprints -- in spite of -- frailties -- I believe in a brave new world -- and I sincerely try to do my bit.

I've learned that giving (irrespective of race, religion, creed, or political convictions) -- even just a wee bit -- even at a micro-level -- unselfishly and unconditionally gives you joy. Sudha Murthy Ji says the same thing -- giving back to society. It's not about money always -- the most important thing you'd give to an underprivileged person is dignity and respect. A little chitchat. A pat on the back. Sharing a smoke. Having Chai together. Empathy. Mercy. Compassion.

Astrologer: [Good–humoredly] Parrot: Please tell me about my Destiny. Parrot: [Feigning dizziness] Sunstroke! Astrologer: [Mockingly] What? Am I going to suffer a sunstroke? Parrot: Nope! Moreover, how would I know . . . . You are the learned one! I was merely suggesting that we sit under a tree! Preferably . . . . an old banyan tree! Astrologer: [Perplexed] That is a peculiar request. Seriously unbecoming . . . . Never mind . . . . Okay. But why an old banyan tree? Why not any other tree? Moreover, what do you know about trees in the first place? Parrot: Moreover, I am getting bad vibes . . . . maybe this place is jinxed . . . . I am basically a bird . . . . It is my innateness . . . . It is my intrinsicality . . . . I know about trees like the back of my hand. An old banyan tree is a sagely tree . . . . it is a sacred tree . . . . Astrologer: Aw! That is quite awe-inspiring. Maybe you are missing your nest that you never built! I am touched! I am not a cruel or harsh man! You must ha...

Mister Lemuel Gulliver isn't the protagonist -- RJ Miss Incognito aka Miss Dragon Slayer on a mythical voyage... Listening to the radio won't lead to quickie enlightenment -- But you'd never rule out a semi-nirvanic experience -- She takes you on an invigorating and exhilarating virtual tour of never-never lands -- This was episode #1 -- Telly voice-overs are yawners -- This broadcast was quite educative -- She narrates everything about the place in anecdotal bursts -- except flora and fauna! And, if you're a logophile like me -- you'd pick up some basic words -- If you croak out these magic words--I promise you--you won't: Get stranded or get lynched by an angry mob -- et cetera.  Word #1: 'tuk tuk' -- At least a buggy would materialize out of thin air!  Word #2: 'Yin dee krap / ka' -- Hostile, xenophobic aliens would have a change of heart and turn into affable hosts! ;-) For some more life-saving tips and spiritual awakening journeys -- watch ...

Phoning RJ Miss Incognito is like going under the knife. And, she's an unmerciful -- razor-sharp scalpel. And, she won't give you anesthesia! She's cold-blooded. And, it's a cinch for her to monopolize the entire conversation. She'd zap you! She'd nuke you! She'd turn even the suavest man into a mousy little thing -- in a nanosecond. She slays your spunk! Your mettle is blitzed in a microsecond! You're obliterated. I'm a weak-kneed person -- Just listening to her radio phone-in program makes me absolutely petrified -- I look like a holocaust survivor while listening to her program. -- I swear she's the reincarnation of the intrepid Alexander Selkirk -- She must've survived a shipwreck -- got stranded on an island swarming with man-eaters and tribe of cannibals -- bloodthirsty mongrels and hyenas -- She came out of all this unscathed! -- She's an avant-garde spellbinder -- Her sense of humor is wacky -- lethal -- She'd slaughter you --...

RJ Miss Incognito is a torchbearer Her snippety pep talks are a morale booster. Her four hours long program is a roller-coaster She'd twist you around her little finger. She's like an unstoppable twister She's brainy like a Cambridge wrangler. Does she drive an electric car or a Jeep Wrangler That's what I always wonder. She's veggie -- loves lady's finger She's blessed with green fingers. She's a real show stopper The only thing that gives her a fright is a thundershower. I'd never ring her up -- that'd be a blunder She abhors people who are social climbers. I'm a rhymer And, I'm a daydreamer. Wish I'd bump into her in a mall on an escalator Or perhaps a rendezvous with her in a malfunctioning elevator. She'd hate my impudence -- I'm mister nobody -- just a wannabe writer Okay -- peace -- no hard feelings -- please don't call your solicitor. Does she have a pedometer? Could she ride a scooter? I don't have her E-mail ...

RJ Miss Incognito is a poster girl She makes us rock and roll.   She's like a tigress on the prowl If you mess with her -- you'd be mauled.   She's grit -- she's superbold For nought -- You'd be bowled.   She's a solar car -- she saves money on gas or petrol If you mispronounce anything -- she'd scold. She rolls the dice -- turns macho men into mice and charcoal She's kinda old school. She'd deftly tinker with her daunting and futuristic console She loves puppies -- gives 'em sausages -- when they howl and drool. While talking on the phone -- she'd absent-mindedly scrawl She is crazy about funky shawls. Her English has native speaker like drawl She doesn't like anything foul. She didn't go to a blackboard jungle -- but to an elite school She gets miffed and mad if you don't play by the rules. She loves anything that says bow-wow and woof She detests guys who cry wolf. She's a whistle-blower and supercool Loves to read biograph...

 She's a lighthouse keeper She's a superachiever. She'd be a high IQ society member Is she a marathoner? She's a headliner -- she's in the newspaper An inveterate strawberry milkshake drinker -- Is that a rumor. It's in Metroplus -- I swear I'm not a rumor-monger. Stop being ancient -- Don't wait for the double-decker -- be a skateboarder Life is all about being a reveler. Go on gossiper -- We're no shushers She's a life-saver. Her workplace is out of James Cameron's Avatar Do they also do air traffic control -- I'm awestruck Miss gadgeteer. Looks like a space station or Kennedy Space Center Where's your spacesuit -- Miss spacewalker. She's a top-notcher Chewing gum makes teeth healthier. Decision-maker -- pathfinder -- careers adviser A multifaceted broadcaster. To be continued...

Hmm--so it's that godfather's thriller We'd take him out -- We'd ape/mirror Operation Neptune Spear. Our Black Cats are matchless warriors She'd read something like -- Kargil War: From Surprise to Victory -- by our high-ranking soldier. My favorite is The Founts of Sinhala by Colin De Silva -- that's a superthriller By the way, does she collect bookmarkers? Could I quiz her about the Ashoka emperor Does she have a Macintosh personal computer? She's a globetrotter Has she read Mister Alvin Toffler. Did she ever make use of a butterfly net to catch a grasshopper She'd be a spy catcher. She'd vroom around in a Land Cruiser A cabin cruiser would be an eye-catcher. Who's her favorite cricketer Could tailenders be game-breakers. Who's her mentor Has she read anything about aboriginal trackers. She must've read The Steadfast Tin Soldier Is she crazy about dreamcatchers? To be continued...

I've probably got multiple personality disorder My memory is murkier. Speed -- Distance -- Time -- Radius -- Peak Hour Factor  Wish I were a mapmaker -- a navigator. They say -- GPS operates best near the equator Is she following the Google Science Fair? Is her car equipped with a GPS receiver Locating her igloo would've been easier. Where's she heading -- Miss Antarctic explorer Has she been spotted by a casting director? In the ultimate analysis -- the tortoise is a winner Go girl -- get your pocket calculator. Is she a keen snapshooter Has she ever tried a six-shooter? Is Internet Explorer her default browser What's it about -- this get-together. Has she read the autobiography Of Adolf Hitler What does she think of the Fuhrer? Bye for now -- Miss absenter. Come back real soon -- get me a pygmyish alligator. To be continued...

I'm a peacemaker, not a provocateur I'm just a pawn -- she's a queen -- Kasparov against Deep Blue computer. A pawn is always sacrificed -- Been a misadventurer I'm a schooligan from a blackboard jungle -- NOT Ivy Leaguer. I'm a chain smoker but I swear -- Am a fanatical teetotaler I'm warped -- Was never into paper chase -- so I turned into a paper-pusher -- penpusher. Did she goof around with paper darts when she's a bright-eyed schooler I think she's a gung ho organizer. She's an ace at potshotting -- She's clever -- She's a dueler Say cheese -- Should we expect some potboiler. No cheat sheet -- Vikram Aur Betaal -- Who's a moralizer Is this metrical -- Bonkers -- Rat tamer -- Catnapper -- Pest control officer? I envy her -- I mean her spontaneity -- off the cuff rimester -- extemporizer I've got a honeypot-like insectarium -- I'm an anti-insecticide campaigner. It's jukebox experience -- makes me footloose for a while -- l...

 Is she inclined towards -- Bestsellers and Man Booker Prize Winners Mister Stephen May says that we'd try and read newbie writers. Get Started in Creative Writing is a good starter She'd post her poetry on a Facebook page at least -- she's such an idler and lurker. She'd at least Blog -- Key in about shock jock life -- She'd be a pygmy chronicler She's zillions of fans -- She's a big hitter -- Her Blog would be quite popular. Wish we'd chitchat off the air -- That'd be an absolute coup -- Oh my God--I'm such a chancer I'd go see some sorcerer or diviner. I just can't hobnob with her -- I'd be considered an interloper She's a Jekyll-and-Hyde personality -- She'd page/summon her lawyer. She's a fierce head-hunter She's a notorious yeti/bigfoot exterminator. Was she sniping at me eh -- I'd take my antipsychotic thingies -- I'm such a hallucinator Only one thing helps in such moral exigencies i.e. prayer -- I'...

Is she a moody Net surfer Could she tell offhand -- What's our latest orbiter. Why RED FM's Web Site is such a slacker How much do they get -- manual laborers. Why is it costlier -- intellectual labor Does she buy veggies from a vendor? Does she have a palindromic PIN of her computerized cash dispenser Does she feel like jabbing a queue-jumper? Could she write 'ventriloquist' in reverse order Why does she loathe smokers? Do gray-haired -- old-timers look nerdy in jazzy suspenders Has she seen The Elephant Man and Band of Brothers? Has she read Richard Bach -- Would she love to be a barnstormer Could she reprogram a Satellite Telly Receiver? Do RED FM people carry Star Trek-like beepers and pagers Do they also have something for teleportation -- a transporter. Has she read the story of The Honest Woodcutter Has she ever been to a faith healer? We're birds of a feather Both of us are rhymesters. Has she read Daddy-Long-Legs by Jean Webster Does she look up words in Me...

She does code-switching like an orator She is a workaholic -- She isn't a clock-watcher. Is she an amateur radio operator Does she prefer a text editor or a word processor? What does it say -- her car's bumper sticker Does she have a pet kitty or mouser? What's her favorite motion picture What's her favorite cartoon character. What's her phobia -- creepy-crawlies and web spinners Does she like pace bowlers or leg spinners. Would she love an-adrenalin-rush-kinda-job -- Would she be a pro skydiver Did she ever get a ride in a jet fighter? Does she love puppet theater? Who's her favorite actor. Flicks -- Does she love sci-fi or horror Is she a brand ambassador? What's her favorite page-turner Could we have Pepsi and cheeseburger -- together. Does she have BlackBerry -- Who's her Internet Service Provider? Is she lefty or right-hander? Is Mister Ali -- her favorite boxer Does she trust hitch-hikers? She's ambidextrous -- What's stopping her from bein...

Is she a seafarer Is she a wayfarer? She counsels like my shrink -- she's natural -- she's Miss motivator She's Brobdingnagian personality traits -- She's like a New Yorker -- A conjurer. She'd start writing -- She'd be a Blogger I'm dying to be her ghostwriter. In school -- was she a troublemaker Could she outsmart a lie detector? Is she an intergalactic (space) traveler Does she have an e-book reader? She's a riddler I'm obstinately inquisitive -- What's her pet peeve -- What's her bugbear. How long does she take to crack a typical brain-teaser Is she a diarist -- She'd try and add more Urdu/Hindi songs in her playlist -- something that'd turn us into tap-dancers? Who's her favorite author What does her car meter read -- Could she tell offhand -- What does it say -- her car's mileage indicator. Is she a number-cruncher Is she a good baby-sitter. What does she think of Ethical Hackers What's her favorite animal cracker. D...

She aspires to be an IAS officer Someday -- she's going to be a District Collector. She'd zip through her preliminaries She's studious -- she'd would be an unrivaled topper. Her viva-voce would be a trailblazer She'd outwit her interviewers. She's the spirit of a crusader She thwarts schemers. Shhh--actually she's an alien from Jupiter Yep -- I believe in UFOs and extraterrestrial invaders. Is she a horse rider She loves ponies -- and American pit bull terriers. She's a movie buff and die-hard weekender My question is: Does she love Lavender? She must've read the story of Eklavya -- the master archer By the way, I love her theory of avatars -- It's gospel truth and something universal. She's the rainmaker She'd speedread her Teleprompter. She's a good speller Has she ever met any snake charmer? She's going to have a Swayamvara -- She'd choose a real charmer Trumpets--Decked out elephants like in The Elephant Festival of Kerala...

You've to be a kamikaze to ring her up -- on her evening radio show. It's the electric chair experience.It's a firing squad ordeal! She's a baby-faced executioner! It's her arena -- she's the gladiator. You'd be mercilessly annihilated. She'd make you sob. She'd make you scramble. Her impromptu, spiky humor is phenomenal. Your squeaky, muted protests would be unfeelingly, ruthlessly, and violently -- muffled and squelched. She's like a bird of prey -- you're a mouse -- you're cornered and defenseless. She's a Brobdingnagian -- and you're a Lilliputian -- a duel is out of the question. I'm in a clichéd / proverbial catch-22 situation -- For some inexplicable reason -- For some ungodly reason -- I can't send Text Message(s) to her -- There's some glitch -- I get some gibberish error message(s) -- And, I'm not geeky anymore to resolve or debug this predicamental bug! -- And, I'm so terror-stricken that I'd nev...

Dhow ready for you missui Same familiar voice of rugged hunchbacked bedioun My father's most trusted lieutenant A crescent sword dangling by his side a gust of wind -- that seems to bother him somehow The audacity of his Samurai-like gait A mare whimpers and he pats in his characterstic dismissive gesture Subduedly flamboyant -- debonair -- that smirk on his face -- A chaps -- magenta or something -- it's charcoal-ish now A war trophy -- No head hunting anymore -- show any tribes He told me once with a shrug nonchalant curse-like tone -- oh those spurs -- not even for menace makers Duel -- Jostle -- Do I look that intimidating to you eh -- Missui -- what's your name before you went to .... The unanimous chosen leader of the warrior race A spine-chilling momentary glint in his pupil He ain't hunchbacked -- it's his way of obeisance His loyalty rests with my father -- Mills and Boons -- That's what he thinks of me -- I guess Discreet -- hoarse -- monosyllables -- ...

Turbo Button: Yep. There used to be a Turbo Button on IBM compatibles / clones way back in the nineteen-nineties. That's my First Hack as well -- I outsmarted my those-days sidekick in our shanty and outfoxed him on Tetris Game High Scores. My point is: I'm trying to give you an analogy -- We'd tweak our minds like that -- Get into that Problem-solving -- Troubleshooting -- Edward de Bono Mode -- For consistency: Let's call it -- The Turbo Mode. What'd we learn from the following examples: Cheetah or any large wildcats: How do they GET their prey? 1. First thing they do: They SELECT their prey usually from a wide array of -- grazing but ALERT herd. 2. Second: They ISOLATE it. 3. Third: They ZERO IN ON it single–mindedly. Meaning they DO NOT get DISTRACTED by innumerable preys / targets. They NEVER stray off course. 4. Fourth: Decision-Making: They 'PRE-DECIDE' -- Hunt or just LURK -- Meaning they've QUITE REALISTIC goals based on previous hunting experie...

RFID - My Comments: Could you believe that eh - I just Eureka--ed--on-this RFID-Hacking Proof Wallet for Credit cards and all at this shack near my Tea place. It's for like 140 rupees after not-so-serious basic Indian haggling. Maybe the Technology has evolved and all -- and there're and there must be counter-measures and all -- but the point I'm trying to drive home is: ubiquitous -- imperceptibly so -- And, this person is a you know -- a peddler on the street corner -- an encroacher -- encroaching -- A nuisance for pedestrian traffic -- footpath -- Just this one person and his wares on this make-shift shack spawns into zillions of problems for all of us -- of course -- he's also a naive accomplice or propagator of it and victim of it as well. Because he's victiom of something else up in this vicious circle of . . . . -- I mean to say: This one chap and a bunch of 'em -- this'd mushroom into something colossal -- It's like in I guess 1990 or so: I stumb...

 I'd tell you one thing: Fundamental law of life – Just be peerless in whatever you do – Do it with fiery, unprecedented zealousness -- Your pursuits must NEVER be trivial – Your objectives must've immense intellectual and moral depth... -- For instance: Gandhi Ji NEVER aspired to be revered – His endeavors had plausible divinity... You might become a zillionaire – or achieve celebrity status -- et cetera. Those're by-products of untiring toil. Winning accolades must NEVER be your aspiration. Media thrusts mediocrity upon you... -- Society puts / places you in a virtual straitjacket of mundanity -- -- wriggle yourself out of it... -- so-and-so diva would endorse an unrequired product – a funky smartphone, for instance. If you'd code an open source App for BlackBerry, for example – then you haven't been a victim of consumerism. Be obstinate in a positive way.... You'd definitely marry your soul mate – If you've ideological edge over... – Your loftiness of cha...

Mettle: Strength of spirit: Ability to continue despite difficulties. There is no magic wand that could change boys into men but sheer, mammoth grit. This is your life. If you are a closet escapist opt for hot-air balloon ride. No one would ever suspect your timidity. But if you have even a wee bit of pathfinding spunk -- Invoke the pygmy Sherpa-like relentlessness of spirit in you. It would metamorphose into a real giant. Eventually. Buckle down to Sisyphean ordeals. Don't shy away from 'em. Sisyphus is in you. Listen to your inner voice. Try not to muffle or squelch those echoes.

You took a bullet for us Gave us freedom. You walked alone Millions followed. A revolution began Sent shock waves to the British throne. Spoke only the truth Practiced nonviolence. Father of the nation A divine soul. We stand in ovation Speechless and tearful. Your spirit is not dead It can never die. It is in us In every ounce of our blood. We are billion-plus strong now A formidable, mighty power. We still follow your precepts Our children mourn your death. My words are too humble But I still want to pay my last respects.

You know I've got 4 pet snails--I don't particularly love snails--but I guess I'm trying to make a quiet, rather shy, almost inadvertent philosophical statement . . . they represent my present state of life--I'd have bought fishes--but I didn't--because fishes are restless, hyperactive--snails are sluggish, slothful . . . Life in Hyderabad is snail-paced. Laid-back. Living in the Old City is a proverbial Sisyphean-ordeal. Mediocre, myopic people -- and their obstinate mind-sets. Stray dogs-and-other predatory creatures infested--riot-and-blackout prone neighborhoods. I don't mean to sound snobbish. I still love my city -- its heritage--at least. But I feel so sorry for 'em. Anyway, I shouldn't write a sob-story. What's happening in my life? Hmm . . . Looking for a bride -- Re-reading From Heaven Lake: Travels through Sinkiang and Tibet by Vikram Seth -- Playing Jim Corbett: Reinventing mousetraps -- relentless skirmishes with intrepid roaches and liz...

Happy Maha Shivaratri / Shivaratri -- my favorite Radio FM shock jocks: I'm a staunch pro–life activist. I celebrate Maha Shivaratri / Shivaratri with my Radio FM comrades by reaffirming my vows to RESPECT ALL LIVING CREATURES, that also, of course means Plant Life. Just like my Jain comrades. Happy Maha Shivaratri / Shivaratri -- once again, comrades. Particularly: Today, I strictly observe nonviolence toward ALL living creatures. I sincerely try not to trample even creepers (Plants such as ivy), wild mushrooms and so–called insignificant weeds. I also believe for some unbeknownst reason that it's auspicious to keep snails EVEN in a teensy–weensy aquarium as kids' exotic -- aquatic chaperone / roommates. Snails are talismanic and harbingers of sphinxlike spunk to overcome any debilitating jinxes -- thwart every masquerading evil / evil in all its sinister, slick and salamander-like slimy manifestations / mutations. Let's start afresh. No dismissive and arrogant shrug. ...

We're the InfoSec people We're the first line of defense. We're the cyber warriors We keep our electronic frontiers safe. We're the ethical hackers We strike down hard and lightning fast. We're like blitz We're alpha geeks. Lawbreakers swoon and shiver We make 'em tremble with fear. We're the best and the brightest We're the elite. We've razor-sharp minds We're the nerds. We're unwinged guardian angels Ethical Hacking is in our blood. We're the avant-gardists We've got fire in our bellies. We're the tech evangelists We lead a life full of chivalry. We're armed to the teeth We've got skills and grit. We smoke 'em out like rats Whenever we turn up the heat. You're on the wrong side of the law You're morally weak. We'll bring you to justice inevitably You can run but you can't hide.  We'll bring you to your knees We're indomitable geeks. We're unstoppable comrades We come after you wave aft...

Bon voyage my friend, my chum Time has come to say goodbyes Let's have a last fag together Do you still have time for supper. It's going to be tough in the blazing sun Everyday is going to be a new marathon But you're like The Steadfast Tin Soldier You've got fire in your belly -- you're a man of action.  Emirates is a magic land Of camels, sea and sand Gracious Arabs in white turban Yep, princeling -- it's like Durban. Remember me while on the run  Weren't my discourses fun? You've got it in you Perfect attitude and excellent education.

You look like an army brat Tall, lean and broad-shouldered You navigate like The Polynesians You're an adventurer like David Henry Lewis. You're a soccer buff Street-smart and tough You'd have been a fine gigolo  You've got the spunk of a tribal warrior. You play LAN games Compute complex numbers in a nanosecond like Srinivasa Ramanujan You're from the Warrior Tribe Do you remember our sparring bouts and early-morning long drives. I'm going to miss you like anything You're a friend of the friendless It wasn't just beginner's luck when you won the first race Go in peace -- you're battle hardened prince.

Elementarily: It's counseling. It's a powwow. Basic -- grass-roots problem(s) resolution. Program anchorwomen are seasoned conversationalists. They talk about literally everything: Home economics, computer literacy and so on ad infinitum. It's a radio phone-in Panchayat. They're virtually like advice columnists. Their approach isn't ivory-towered. They're NOT adrenalized and juvenile shock jocks who play raunchy music. These people are thorough professionals -- serious-minded -- ethical -- rational -- well-informed and well-respected. I'm writing this to acknowledge 'em. I've tremendous respect for 'em.

Did you know / Could you believe that there're no toilets in the homes of rural people? There's a radio broadcast (possibly on telly too) everyday pleading rural people to build toilets in their homes. And, this is the 21st century? And, we've got nuclear weapons! My scholar friend George Everette recommends a symbiotic relationship but I strongly believe that it's our duty / moral obligation to help the underprivileged -- EVEN IF -- there's no reciprocity from their side. I'm absolutely appalled -- we've no compassion -- we'd go to a village and help build toilets -- but--hold on--nope--we're Indians, aren't we? We love foreign places--And, those places are exotic--and--of course--there're funky toilets too! We're honeymooners--Let the rural men, women and children squat somewhere in the open... Are the tickets ready, honey eh?

She just looked into my ecstatic and lustful eyes and smiled -- shyly -- a bit surreptitiously first -- then audaciously and vividly. There's a starry twinkle in her eyes. Then, in a microsecond -- nanosecond -- I realized that I've found my soul mate. That's like an epiphany. That's a nirvanic moment. The Bodhi Tree moment. Her place turned out to be my Bodh Gaya. That's fast-paced nirvana.

Yes, we are Indians We are sages and farmers We are snake charmers and tightrope walkers We are magicians and soldiers. We have got nuke power Our satellites orbit in the space Our armed forces go on peacekeeping missions Our farmers bring a Green Revolution. Yes, we speak the truth Yes, we believe in nonviolence We are secular and democratic men and women We are peacekeepers and seekers of truth. Do not provoke the soldiers in us We wear shrouds majestically like pagris Our SLRs are handy and ready Sharpened swords and bayonets -- bloodthirsty. Freedom is everything for us Honor is everything for us We fight for truth and justice Yes, we are Indians.

We've have an exemplary disciple Eklavya. A forgotten hero. There's a serious problem with us Indians. We don't know our own history. We don't read our own ancient texts. How many of us know about gurukul? How many of us know about an ashram? History gives you identity. History gives you a compass. We're going through a serious identity crisis. Simply because we've severed our link with our history. We've put on blinkers -- We see only westernism or Europeanism. We've many heroes amongst us -- but we fail to recognize 'em. French is a good language. But we need to learn Sanskrit first. We've to take pride in being an Indian. A race that's shy of their own forefathers has no conscience. Particularly when their ancestors were people of indomitable courage and lofty values. History is our pole star. It's our lightning bug. Otherwise, we're in stark -- pitch-dark. Colossal -- abysmal despair. It's mass -- national nyctophobia. An oarl...

She's thirty I'm forty. She's Dear Enemy I'm from the foe country. Both of us were destined to meet in the cyberspace I wonder if she's read Jean Webster's sequel to Daddy-Long-Legs. Our story should turn out like Notting Hill Will we ever tie the knot or always stay single. My bank balance is nought Wish I'd hit the jackpot. God, please turn me into a zillionaire A rags-to-riches billionaire. Make my adversary my soul mate Write this in my scroll of fate. I'll woo her all my life And, sweep her off her feet. She's starry-eyed and celebrity scribe I'm Vikram Seth's Suitable Boy. I wonder if she's shilly-shallying, dilly-dallying, contemplating Sending me a sally note -- now that's a point to moot.